McDonalds, the fabric of America.

The old school McGangBang

The old school McGangBang

I recently saw McDonald’s reviews on Yelp.

First of all, McDonalds is not a restaurant. For it to be a restaurant it must serve food, and while I do not know what is in a chicken nugget, I sure as fuck know it isn’t chicken. I’ve had chicken before, nice try McDonald’s.

These are actual reviews:

“I saw a lady in her pajamas, wearing snorkeling goggles, and holding a small child sized doll. I didn’t know what to make of it.” – Denis, Pasadena CA

“Sausage McMuffin was disappointing. It could very well be that my eating standards have gotten more frou frou. But I think I could have made a better breakfast sandwich than this if I had the time.” -Jon, Bellevue WA

” I rather be here than some suburban boring restaurant where my life passes me by and don’t feel a bit alive.” -Jaime, Azusa CA

“When being told to meet at “the sketchy ass McDonald’s” is all that’s needed to establish location it might speak poorly of your business reputation.” -Sal, Seattle WA

The words: rape, lunatic, lockdown, and save yourself, were a frequent theme in the reviews.

Stop blaming rap music, meth, and liberals for America’s decline. THIS is what’s wrong. Some reviewers encourage people to walk to another McDonalds a few blocks away for, and I fucking quote, “quality¬†industrial chicken sandwich or hamburger”. Chances are that if you are at a McDonalds, you are not a fan of walking, or quality.