Last week at the grocery store I came across a vegetable I’ve never seen before called rapini. My computer agrees it is a weird vegetable because autocorrect insists I am misspelling the name. None of my cooking books have it as an ingredient so I go to Barnes and Noble periodical section to get some super hip cooking magazine that may have a recipe for it. One of those magazines that makes me order ingredients from secretblackmarket.com. Sure I could have found a recipe online but I am curious to try some other weird shit suggested by the better-than-me magazine’s marketing department. Also, I want to buy “A People’s History of the United States” (my previous copy was water damaged), and that funny comic book about my cat plotting to kill me.
My god, people make magazines for everything. Yarn magazines, dog house building magazines, chair magazines, stamp collecting magazines, redhead magazines, bukake weekly magazine, raising demon babies magazine. I’m not complaining. Frankly I don’t give a fuck that people are super into shit I consider menial at best. If there is a demand for it, I’m glad someone can supply it. My tip of the hat to the free market. But what really struck me was the order and classification of the magazines.
Top row: Technology. Cars. Mens/History. Finance/Business. Sports. Comics. Food/Wine. Women’s Interests. Craft/Hobbies.
Bottom row: I didn’t pay attention.
Women’s Interest makes up the largest section because it includes wedding and fashion categories. Men’s and History are group together. This, ladies, is why you are inferior.
There is no Barnes and Noble misogynistic secret society plotting against you. As if by moving the history category into the Men’s one will deter you from ever purchasing a magazine about the lingering socioeconomic effects of the confederacy… or does it?
Barnes and Noble merchandising department is simply accommodating their customer needs as conveniently as possible. They know that someone interested in crafts may also be into cooking. How they know this? Because this is what their POS is registering and what millions of dollars in market research are pointing towards, that’s all. Women shopping behavior indicates you are a pack of dumb cunts. I would pay top dollar to access Barnes and Noble consumer databases and see the actual figures of what women purchase against men. I am confident that upon evaluation, I will be left with great sense of shame and self-deprecation. Well, a greater sense of self-deprecation.
By the way, the top/back row of the Men’s section is all porn. Which I am not surprised by, but.. really? Men come to Barnes and Noble to buy porn magazines? I guess the location doesn’t have to make sense. If McDonald’s came up with an adult Happy Meal consisting of a Bacon-Guac 11 pounder cheeseburger, fries, drink and a pocket pussy as a toy, I am certain the entire world wouldn’t be able to supply the brutal demand for cattle, corn, and latex. Riots will ensue in drive-trus in every major city.